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Only when every individual’s mind becomes strong, confident and stable, filled with qualities like selfless love, sympathy, sacrifice, straight-forwardness and truthfulness, will we be worthy children first of the family and then the society and Nation.

(49 years have passed since I left school! Now that I am trying to pen down my thoughts, I find my memory has faded. In the background of every incident, I find my days in my school were filled with a brightness and cheerfulness. I think all of us Irwinians will fondly remember everything the school gave us. We of the 1960s remember the army barracks where the middle school was, the ice factory that used to spray ice cold water on us as we would pass by in large groups in order to attend the games and PT classes. When the Delhi Milk Scheme started first, we were taken to the factory and there were Prime Minister Jawahar Lal Nehru and President Dr. Rajendra Prasad who, after their speeches, handed over bottles of cold fragrant milk to all the assembled children individually. Thereafter, DMS (Delhi Milk Scheme) used to supply milk for students who opted to drink.

When we got promoted to class 9, we went to the main building. We started feeling we were grownups and became responsible too. The garden was beautiful. Tulsi’s chaat could never be forgotten. So were the annual PT shows! How much we students were made to practice to perform well in the National Stadium, year after year.)

Ever since I left school in the year 1966, I somehow never went back even to meet my teachers. I often wondered in the later years whether this happens to others. I think most of the students forget what they receive from the school and the teachers! When students pass out from school, invariably their whole focus becomes further education; new courses, new college, new friends and teachers. The school and teachers who made us capable and worthy of receiving higher knowledge, do we remember them gratefully?

I passed out from school in 1966 in the science group (section B; having Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics and Biology as combination). I think our batch was quite unique. From the science group, inspired by our Physics teacher, about 14 or 15 of us joined Physics honors in the University of Delhi and completed M.Sc. in Physics. Many in this group also did Ph.D. in Physics. Almost all received the National Science Talent Search Scholarship up to Ph.D. Not only in pure science, but in every other field our batch mates have done excellently well.

To say in short, what I learnt in my school is ‘excellence’. Our Principal, Miss Kamala Sengupta wanted all the students to be excellent in everything, be it studies, sports, physical training, music, fine arts, drama, recitation and what not, as also in behavior and conduct. A lot of emphasis was given for all round learning so that we would grow into graceful human beings.

We always felt that we were students of one of the best schools in Delhi and should be the best. Unawares, we imbibed from our teachers to value knowledge and always remained inspired to learn and perform excellently. Not only excellence in academics, but we also learnt excellent human values. When I look back, I recognize with gratitude such values in our teachers as dedication, sincerity, complete identification with the profession, commitment and pure love for the students for their growth. I think many of these values remained with me as a treasure and I have tried to keep them in mind especially while I was a teacher.

After completing my Ph.D., I worked as a lecturer in Physics in Vivekananda College, Calcutta University. One day, one of my senior colleagues said: “You know, I find you are not teaching here considering this as simply a job. I find you to be completely dedicated.”  That was the day when I understood, without even striving, without even knowing, I have imbibed some of the great virtues that my teachers possessed in school, college and university.

My prostrations to all of them, my Gurus at different stages of my worldly life.

Again, pranams to my spiritual Guru who, having imparted spiritual knowledge, showed me the way to the supreme excellence, not material but spiritual, to enrich and empower the mind in order to remain unaffected in all situations in life.

Just like any other young girl who was good in studies, I dreamt of pursuing higher studies. After completing M.Sc. in Physics, I joined Delhi University to work for a Ph.D. under Prof. L.S. Kothari. At that point in life, without any reason, suddenly I was faced with this question: ‘What is this life?’ Life seemed to be absolutely transitory and impermanent. No happiness remained forever. I started thinking: ‘Is there anything which will make me permanently happy; recognition in my research, a well-placed job, name, fame, a good husband, wealth, luxury, comfort—?’  My heart cried out and said, ’No’. And, the heart’s quest became: ‘Is there anything in this life which is permanent? If so, how will I know it and from whom?’ This query became so intense in my heart that I wept at night and felt a great load in my chest.

Maybe my quest was very sincere and from the depth of my soul. Quite soon, I came to know about Baba Gangadhara Paramahamsa, a self-realized Jnani who lived near Kolkata. I wrote a letter to him describing my mental situation and asked him whether there was anything permanent in this world and how to remove traits of the mind which cause suffering. Thereafter, I used to look into the letterbox very eagerly every day, expecting a reply from him. One day the reply came in an inland letter. When I took it out from the letterbox and opened it, I could not read it for a long time. My eyes were veiled with tears. I felt I had got an anchor which was permanent.

Baba wrote: “There is no fear. The Lord is within you”. I held onto those words. Baba initiated me into spirituality and slowly started molding my mind imparting strength, confidence and reliance on God. He said: “You are a student now. With all heart and mind complete your Ph.D first. You will come to know all about spirituality in due course of time.” I felt I was embraced by the divine Lord.

Baba was quite old when he came into my life. Within five years he attained mahasamadhi. But before that he handed over my spiritual unfoldment in the hands of his sannyasin disciple Swami Bhoomananda Tirtha, of Narayanashrama Tapovanam in Trichur, Kerala. I used to write regularly to Swamiji and also meet him during his annual visits to Jamshedpur and Kolkata.

Many years later I came across Adi Shankaracharya’s composition ‘Vivekachudamani’ where he has said, by the grace of God three rare things come together in one’s life. Human birth, a burning yearning for liberation (from the shackles of the mind) and the close association with, and loving care and guidance of a self-realized saint. I realized that I was blessed by all the three.

Swamiji introduced me to the concept of ‘Nirdvandvatva’, i.e. the world always brings to us pairs of opposites. Pleasure and pain, happiness and unhappiness, heat and cold, peace and restlessness, success and failure…..etc. We cannot always expect good and desirable things to happen. Undesirables also have to be faced. The question is how to face the undesirables? Life is full of challenges, anxiety, fear, disappointments, indecisions and what not! The mind has many traits like anger, irritation, dislike, impatience, laziness, procrastination and so on which hurt others and cause suffering to oneself. How to remove them and be placid?

The more I thought the more I discovered that although I had the best of education under the best of teachers, neither in educational institutions nor at home I was taught how to deal with such situations. What does one do when one is fearful, anxious, miserable or hopeless?

I understood that we learn under many teachers and acquire knowledge about various subjects. That knowledge can utmost build a career which helps in earning money and subsequent comfort, maybe even name and recognition. However, by that knowledge one does not learn how to tackle the mind when everything is not according to our wishes and when the mind suffers on account of that.

Swamiji slowly exposed me to the enormous potentials of the mind. He taught me how the mind can handle and overcome every difficult emotion and situation and remain stable. Gradually he led me onto the path of discovering one’s real identity, the knowledge of which alone enables one to remain unaffected in the face of all stress and adversities. He exposed me to the Supreme Knowledge that at the core of one’s personality one is ever bright, ever free, limitless, taintless, changeless, vast and imperishable. When one is able to realize these qualities in oneself, one becomes supremely enriched, empowered and eternally happy and peaceful, eternally fearless and unaffected.

I understood that mind and intelligence has immense potential to attain these qualities if only one strives to attain. Just like for the body to become strong one has to feed it with healthy food, similarly for the mind to become strong and the intelligence to become sharp they have to be fed with noble qualities and virtues. The mind has to be reminded repeatedly: “I am invincible, I am not weak, I have no fear, I have no affectation, ……. I am Universal ……….this is my real nature.”

My whole life got transformed. I started looking at life with a different attitude. I found a new goal of life; to remain cheerful in every situation by accepting them; to derive joy from every activity however trivial or important; to love all despite their nature. And to become so, my goal was to feel the presence of the divine Lord in my heart always, to rely on Him solely.

I shed tears of gratitude many a time, thinking how blessed I was to have come at the feet of a Master who guided me towards this Supreme Knowledge imparting the realization that the supreme excellence lay in handling the mind and leading it to be stable, poised, happy and peaceful.

As I tread on this path, young though I was, I understood the indispensability of having a spiritual teacher in one’s life who would guide the student’s mind at every crossroad making it stronger and stronger till it reached the heights of supreme freedom, freedom from all constriction and burden and full with love for one and all.

Years passed. I embraced sannyasa. Becoming a renunciate, remaining at the feet of the Guru, serving him and his mission, I walked ahead on the goal of supreme felicity. I meet many people, young and old, men and women. How fortunate are those who stop for a while and listen about the magnificence of the mind, about the splendour of the soul. Blessed are those who realize this knowledge has to be pursued right from a young age so that life can be led gloriously, joyously, radiantly, selflessly, without fear, without anxiety so that one becomes an ornament to the society.

Only when every individual’s mind becomes strong, confident and stable, filled with qualities like selfless love, sympathy, sacrifice, straight-forwardness and truthfulness, will we be worthy children first of the family and then the society and Nation.

Harih Om Tat Sat. Jai Guru.

(Ma’s writing for her school alumni magazine, on their request)